Anytime Attraction

Timeline for Success and Pitfalls in Pickup

Category: Theory

Reading time: 6 minutes


Howdy neighbour, back again with another blog to help ‘em good-hearted people spread their wings, their love and their seeds.

back again


Following the last blog which was well received (thank you all for your feedback), I have been told that people enjoyed the practicality of the guide.

Today, we will drill it a bit further *does finger in hole motion* and provide some insights as to what to expect at the start of this journey, as well as timeline of improvement for beginners.

beginner's timeline

The kid has neat writing… quite accurate too...

One of the FIRST questions my students ask me is ALWAYS: how long does it take to get good… or what are the stages of development.

Firstly, everyone’s baseline level is different.

A socially calibrated guy with a bit of confidence and guidance can find a decent girlfriend in a matter of weeks (average time probably around 1-3 months).

A hardcase noobie will take months and months to wash away the mud stains within, caused by their surroundings and their upbringing. But usually they’re the ones who become the most successful - both with women and in life.

Given there is no real definite answer to this, I will post MY progression, and with the benefit of hindsight comment on how it can be improved upon, if I could walk the path again.

Hopefully MY mistakes can save YOU some time and heartache.

Stage 1 - Realising the possibility and accepting responsibility.

My pursuit of a girlfriend in highschool ended in the dreaded friend zone at every attempt. I blamed it on my looks, I blamed it on my height, I blamed the world.

But acceptance is the first step to recovery.

Accepting that it’s NOT everyone else’s fault and YOU - the guy in the mirror - can do something about it, is the first stage of probably any grand journey.

When you accept responsibility, and take that leap to walk towards your dream, “the universe will conspire to help you achieve it”.

And the universe sent me two things: an ally (now best friend) who would share the hardest 2 years of this journey with me, and a book called The Game

Hindsight comment/tip:

When you first embark on this journey and you are completely lost, worry not, because the universe WILL send you help.

Maybe in the form of a book, maybe a value-giving mentor, or maybe a blog post that chronicles the journey to getting good with women ; )

Stage 2 - Learning the Theory

For the next 2 weeks, pickup became a passion and obsession. It replaced Starcraft and Championship Manager (01/02) as my priority in life. Every night I went to bed excited about what I have learnt, every morning I couldn’t wait to get up to continue my path towards enlightenment.

Hindsight comment/tip:

Like every journey, the beginning stage is the most exciting, ENJOY IT for what it is, just a noob fumbling around for a boob.

But where you have to be careful here is do NOT become a seminar junkie. I.e. Someone who collects every theory in the world before taking action - you will learn more from 1 day in the field than a lifetime of books and theory.

Stage 3 - (Finally) Taking Action

I described in minute (pronounced my-newt) details of how this went down. Enjoy the process of my cherry-popping.

Hindsight comment/tip:

After that first approach, my best friend Jim and I went out 4 days a week (2 day-game, 2 night-game), which was perfect for us.

Suggestion here is do what YOU can maintain for at least 6 months.

Don’t do 7 days the first week, 2 days the second week and quit by third.

The turtle, not the hare, wins the race (in pickup, in business, in life)

Stage 4 - Beginners Luck

Again, when Tyler told me he envied me as a beginner, I thought he was just paying me lip-service.

But the excitement Jim and I experienced and shared during this beginner’s luck phase (around 3-6 months) will be memories that we take to the grave. And in my opinion, that’s what life is really about, creating these unforgettable memories - good or bad.

Some highlights just off the top of my head are:

  • The pure adrenalin and excitement of getting that first hook and number… I forgot her name but I remember the feeling… I loved her;

    a smile money can't buy

    and 10 years later, I still get the same feeling
  • Getting "THAT" look, and blown out like a mutha fker - only to realise… it doesn’t feel that bad…

    blowout rejection

    YOU… think you have a chance with ME?
  • Writing out a dialogue script from hello to goodbye, and calling a girl to setup a day2 with it;

  • Going out for that first (insta)date with Patricia (a 9);

  • Being invited home by Becky after the Feng-Shui routine (I said no and limply touched her on the arm (kino) - amazing calibration).

Hindsight comment/tip:

“Wake up determined, go to sleep satisfied” - sums up this stage.

Each day ended with a double fist pump and we cannot WAIT to tackle the next day… each day was a new adventure.

Stage 5 - The First Big Test

Just like how everyone’s starting point is different, their first big test comes in different shapes and sizes.

And around 80% of people quit at this stage.

The most common reasons for quitting are:

  • The hurt of that first real rejection (where you DON’T ask for the time or where Town Hall is);

  • The complacency that comes with the initial wave of success (this would’ve been my downfall if it weren’t for Jim);

  • Logistical reasons - work, finances, health, other real problems and priorities just take over life.

Hindsight comment/tip:

Self-discipline is rare these days. If you have it, you will succeed on this journey.

If you don’t (and be honest about it), find a wing or a mentor. Otherwise your chances of getting past this stage by yourself is less than 10%.

Stage 6 (Final Stage of Beginner) - RSD Bootcamp and Leap into Intermediate

In every hero’s journey, he will meet a mentor.

Skywalker met Obi Wan. Daniel San met Mr Miyagi.

I met Tyler.

He treated me like a student, he treated me like a friend, but above all he treated me as a human.

And the things I learnt during my 72 hours with RSD was as close to magic pill as there ever will be.

PS: I am not an affiliate of RSD, but for what I paid for the bootcamp… it was worth 10 times more (at least) - what price do you put on someone giving you a better life, for the rest of your life?

Hindsight comment/tip:

The key to moving past the beginner stage is consistency (refer back to Stage 3 tip).

Set a goal for 6 months, and if you can, end it with a bootcamp with a pickup company that relates to YOU the most. The money and pride you put in will force you to step up and conquer the obstacles along the way.

And don’t be ashamed to ask for help, whether it’s Anytime Attraction, RSD, or any other company (we are technically competitors, but really at our core we are all trying to help you become more confident with women, and hopefully become a better person along the way).

If we can achieve that, we would’ve made the world a better place - “saving girls from the clutches of chodes, one at a time” ; )

Until next time, happy hunting.