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“Should I wear a tie with my baggy shirt?” - Nein
“Can I wear my tennis shoes with the tuxedo pants?” - Nein
“Do I put on the condom BEFORE foreplay?” - Nein
We were in Westfield Chatswood.
Jimmy the Jett was inside the Target change room (pronounced Tarjay). He had many questions pent up from years of drifting in the lost seas of adolescence.
I had just agreed to take on Jimmy as a student (for free), my first ever. This was 2 years after that disastrous first meeting where Jimmy had more rejections than Dwight Howard (when he was at the Magic).
That day, I knew from the start Jimmy was in for a shock.
Slouched posture with a hunched back, rushed conversation with shaky eye contact, clothing suitable for a Chinese ping-pong player going into training for the Olympics.
Not the best combination for meeting girls on the streets.
In fact he was so far below the fuckable threshold that girls actually took pity and just STOOD there waiting for him to finish his spill (girls and people in general only harshly reject those they think are able to take the harsh rejection).
It was ugly.
BUT... every hero has to face their biggest demons before they can claim their Medal of Honour.
And there were 3 things that made me empathise with and believe in Jimmy:
He wasn’t doing this for his ego nor as revenge (2 of the more common reasons guys get into pickup). He just wanted to be able to talk to girls and find a girlfriend like a normal person.
Despite the ugly, UGLY blowouts, he never gave up.
I came from an equally fucked place.
Despite the handicap off the block, I knew if he put in the hard work, he will be fine. Not 100% belief, but 110%.
And the work starts from both inside and the outside.
For the inside, we must regain and rediscover our confidence and self-esteem. Every one of us was born with it, but somewhere down the line, our surroundings and society makes us feel worthless and make us forget that we CAN be ourselves.
For the outside, we can change our body, change your fashion, look and feel anew.
And there we were, at Tarjay, trying on clothes that made Jimmy look like a respectable citizen (a big upgrade from a ping pong player).
We bought 2 shirts, a pair of pants, shorts, a jumper and a pair of casual smart shoes. Not bad with a $100 budget. God bless discount department stores.
On a side note, Jimmy later told me his parents were sooooo concerned when their sheltered son asked for $100… they thought I was selling their son drugs (#dumbfounded)… I blame Jimmy’s upbringing for the state he was in.
But as for Jimmy, he was like a man who just awoke from his matrix dreams, and for the next few weeks I spent more time with Jimmy than I would with my own kid (don’t have any… that I know of ).
“How do I open better?”
“What happens after you hook?”
“How do you get them to flake less?” (trillion dollar question)
Answers to those questions respectively are:
By getting into a happy and horny state BEFORE opening (woo and intent)
For beginners, enjoy the conversation for what it is. The less you think, the better you will do.
For intermediates, you must inject sexuality into the interaction to avoid the friend-zone and decrease the chance of flaking.
Improve your sex market value as a person, day by day, 0.1% by 0.1%. Compounded over a few years and the answer will one day automatically arrive at your doorsteps.
Jimmy and I were ready for our first real session.270 views