Reading time: 6 minutes
I was drafting up a message for Jimmy. It had become part of a most joyful routine:
Meet an attractive girl on the streets → enjoy a sexually charged, emotionally connecting date → navigate around the LMR → taste her cum → share the joy with Jimmy via a two word text
It’s wild, it’s exciting, it’s how life’s meant to be…
But that day, I stared at the message for a good 5 minutes and hesitated to press send.
I knew at the time Jimmy was on 50 not out… as in 50 consecutive dates without a lay and counting… and I wasn’t sure if he was able to take another straw on the camel’s back. I didn’t want to appear to rub it in at how easy it had become.
I pressed send.
“MY MAN!!” - an almost instantaneous response.
Jimmy has always been the most supportive wingman, regardless of how lowly his own situation might be.
It’s a very manly trait.
But despite the temporary elation, the elephant in the room was still present: Jimmy needed to step up.
It had simply gone too long for a human being to put in so much effort and not get a lay. Even the most staunch WBAFCs would’ve stumbled upon a (honey)pot of gold after 50 attempts.
But for Jimmy, even when things are sailing smoothly, he will find ways to fuck it up.
It is to do with his upbringing, which I never knew could have SUCH a scarring effect, at least I’ve never seen it first hand.
But back to Jimmy’s self sabotage tendencies, it was extremely concerning for me, and I’m sure it was even more scary for him to live it.
When a girl smiles at him - he wants to run with the validation
When a girl touches him - he starts to shake uncontrollably
When a girl tries to put his cock in her mouth - it goes soft (and then he starts shaking uncontrollably)
Note: now that Jimmy HAS gotten laid (spoiler alert), I can share the above and everyone (including Jimmy) can have a laugh. But at the time it almost caused us both to lose hope (a girl escalated on HIM, yet he still couldn’t seal the deal… what will it take)
However, since that meeting with the Frugal Samurai, Jimmy has regained that crucial ounce of hope. And when you are in a forest of darkness, that last little step is probably THE fine margin between success and failure.
I could sense that “get laid or die trying” attitude refilling inside him, and it was exactly what was needed.
But despite this newfound optimism, blind brute strength (metaphorically) will not get you laid. (eg. “I will FUCKING APPROACH UNTIL DAWN AND NEVER GO HOME UNTIL I GET A RESULT” ← doesn’t work)
When you are in the abyss, when you have absolutely reached a dead end, what works for me is to break down in microscopic details every little thing you can improve upon.
And for the next few months, we started going through with a fine comb every single detail which might help Jimmy improve (both in game and as a person).
From the way he walked, the way he talked, even the way he smiled (is it too approval seeking?).
The way he reacted after a good set - did it cause him to start “playing to not lose”?
The way he reacted after a bad set - did it cause him to go into sets gun shy?
The way he reacted when the girl gave him approval during dates - did it stop him from escalating?
The way he asked for the number - was it bland and no different to the last guy she gave her number to, 5 minutes ago?
The way he sat - did it exude confidence? Or did it look like he was in detention?
The way he leaned forward when asking a question - did it look like a kid asking his mom for permission to watch TV?
The way he leaned forward when being ASKED a question - did it look like an eunuch ready to serve his master?
We left no stone unturned.
The reason for this is because even though Jimmy was getting the dates, his foundations of success was built on pure balls during the approach. The way he charges in without any thought of self preservation IS the masculine energy girls subconsciously crave for. But after that initial (false) bravado subsides, your core as a man (or lack thereof) quickly shines through.
It’s easy to put up an alpha front for a minute or even an hour, but once you get the blowtorch treatment during dates, it will expose you for who you truly are, for better or worse.
And if you survive the blowtorch, you will receive something else that starts with blow.
And at first, despite being one of the most humble, level headed person I’ve met, Jimmy’s ego resisted the change.
The ego loves the status quo, and Jimmy’s ego held on for DEAR life to what it knows, despite it being the root of unhappiness in his life. The ego rather stay in the comfort zone, than leave it to seek happiness.
But once he accepted that he must let his ego “die”, in order to be reborn a step closer to the strongest version of himself, changes started to happen.
He stopped reacting to good reactions.
He stopped reacting to bad reactions.
He stopped reacting and started to take control.
Jimmy was about to get laid.28 views