Reading time: 5 minutes
The Jett and I were stationed near the foodcourt outside Town Hall Railway Station ($200 rent if all 4 are owned).
We were taking a well earned break from our afternoon sesh, collecting our thoughts and doing a quick debrief before the 5pm-after-work-corporate-sluts rush (yum yum ).
Jimmy had been going out with me for 1 week straight. Previously he went out by himself solo for 2 long hard years with very little success (struggled to get a hook). It was very admirable but something was obviously wrong.
Usually people who just started gaming have 1 or 2 key things missing from their game that’s their biggest sticking point. Maybe it’s their ultra softcock open, maybe it’s their directionless text game resulting in flakes, maybe they can’t physically escalate and close the deal on dates.
With Jimmy, it was literally everything... from inner to outer.
During that day, however, he was starting get mixed results, as opposed to one HUNDRED percent blowout (ie he was doing quite well). How do you get 100% blowouts? I can hear you asking. Well that is why Jimmy’s journey is heroic, he came from the lowest of lows.
He was getting a few girls hooked here and there, and even getting the occasional number. But most of all he was going into sets not expecting a blowout EVERY single time. He was ecstatic with his progress and being the logical/solution driven genius that he is, he just NEEDED to figure out WHY.
What was he doing differently by himself that was causing the blowouts?
What was he doing differently with me that was a stark contrast?
Why was he actually ENJOYING this?!
From my observation, it is a combination of the following:
It is a small mental shift, but it makes a big difference.
Jimmy gained belief from the positive reference points he accumulated throughout the week (and slowly realising what actually attracts girls), and was starting to enjoy going out to meet girls as a hobby.
This is a seismic shift from seeing going out as a DREADED chore which plagues 90% of the pickup community.
If you have plans to go out to meet girls on the streets or in bars, and you find yourself dreading at the prospect, you must realise every single man have this issue (no matter his level). It is up to YOU as a MAN to fight through the initial stifle-ness. If you can’t fight through such a small obstacle, why SHOULD a hot girl choose a beta male like you?
Oh, and finding a wing who also enjoys the process really helps.
Basic Level of Outer Game
After our spending spree at Target, Jimmy was dressed up like a semi-cool alpha male, as opposed to a middle aged ping pong player. A decent sense of fashion makes a HUGE difference when you first start on this journey.
But he was also starting to have basic level of outer game points ticked, such as:
Decent eye contact as opposed to permanently looking down at the concrete;
Neutral tonality as opposed to ending every sentence with an upward tone (ie sounding like a bitch)
Decent body language, as opposed to looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame about to kidnap the girl and taking her to his Bell Tower.
Death of the Ego
Lastly and most importantly, Jimmy was slowly realising no one cares about you except yourself (and your mom).
It is the most ego destroying and liberating experience at the same time.
A full thesis can be written about this point. But the gist of it is, most people in society are so self-conscious about their image (ie. building up the ego), that they lose that bit of “real-ness” when they talk to a girl. For example, they are more worried about whether their hair looks nice, as opposed to listening and connecting with the human being they are interacting with (the girl). And afterwards, they question “why didn’t that opinion opener work”.
But when your ego gets DESTROYED, things are suddenly much clearer as those fake self-images projected by the ego disappears, and you are only left with your true self.
That last point is probably this entire journey in one sentence: getting rid of what is fake and rediscover that genuineness that’s always inside you.
And that’s the most attractive thing to a girl - the real you.
Note: I recommend Eckart Tolle - The Power of Now if you are interested discovering more about the mechanics of Ego versus your Self-Esteem.
All of the above are a progress, not a binary function (ie you don’t suddenly stop caring about what others think of you, it’s a slow internal shift).
And at the end of that day, with everything he learnt in that short space of time (internally and externally), Jimmy approached another girl - and it just clicked.
I could see her smiling and blushing with happiness, I could hear him being dominant and witty, expressing himself as opposed to trying to impress her.
I could see both of them enjoying one of the most amazing experiences in life - meeting a stranger on the street and hitting it off like you’ve known each other for years. Connecting with each other on a real self-esteem level (and hopefully soon on a physical level too )
With Jimmy we had to build everything from the ground up. But there is no shame in that, the lower your starting point, the higher you are likely to go.
And he was ready to soar.
Next Episode: Jimmy’s Journey - The First Date