Anytime Attraction

Secret Diary of Getting Laid in Hong Kong (Part 3 of 3)

Category: Stories

Reading time: 5 minutes

The hustle and bustle of the crowded streets filled the air. It was 11 past the PM, at a place named Lan Kwai Fong (LKF).

It was Day 2 of the Sex Tour. We had a great first night.

Now usually after a good night out, I suffer from a condition called Second Night Syndrome aka “soft-cock-itis”.

Instead of playing to win, I held up the ego-protection shield all night and played not-to-lose. And when you play to not lose, you usually get what you deserved… you lose.

It was one of those ugly nights where nothing you try hits: you dish it to a teammate, it goes out of bounds. You pull up for a jumper, it clanks off the top of the backboard. You try driving to the hoop… there is a man named Rashard waiting, who swats both you AND the ball into the 2nd row.

You get the idea.

But this was the once in a lifetime travel-with-your-best-buds sex tour, and I paid $3,000 (my entire net worth at the time) for the trip, so I wasn’t gonna go down without at least killing a few goblins and golems.

Make love, not warcraft

Make love, not warcraft

So at 3am, I decided to stay until 4. At 4am, we decided to push for another hour. And finally at 5am, the clubs closed and we thought we might as well give streets a try since the sun is almost out (day game).

But none of us had any solid leads to show for our efforts.

Just as we were wandering outside to call it a night and get a bus ticket home, a classy, yet skankily clad girl walked past us.

You could tell she was one of those minx who dressed up like a hooker just to goto the groceries - one of my main criterias for finding a girlfriend (other criterias include: being socially confident, wild in bed, and loves me unconditionally - sounds tough but not that hard to find once you learn a bit of game)

This girl was slightly tipsy. Drunk frat guys (and fat guys) hollered and whistled at her. But she playfully waved them off. There was something about her which screamed: “I enjoy anal”

“One last approach” - was the war cry back in those days.

As I followed her down the steep LKF stairs, I wasn’t expecting much. Just another blowout to make it 50 even *raises the bat and adjusts the baggy green.

But just when I got close enough to tap her on the arm... she TRIPS over like a sack of potatoes.

You can’t script this stuff.

So instead of a routine opener, which I had been nervously rehearsing in my head, I simply held out my hand out as a gesture of help.

She grabbed my hand with a shriek that sounded like an orgasm and proceeded to hug me tightly with a squeal (hug Hugzy).

Her soft C-cup breasts pressed against my flat-as-a-tack chest (I was 48kg back then). Her perfume, mixed with her sweat, smelt dirty and sexy at the same time.

She was hot… I was in love.

look at her face


“Where are you going” - I asked with faux-authority.

“Causeway Bay?” she replied with a giggle, still hanging onto me with her arms around my neck.

“That’s where my hotel is, let me take you home”

Without even saying another word, she took my hand and led me to the nearest taxi.

I looked back over my shoulders to see PNG and PiG gawking at me. The look in their eyes said “Goodbye soldier… goodbye”

I gave them a farewell salute.


*hums melancholy Infernal Affairs music

Now in life, there are no triumphs without obstacles.

On the way to the hotel, she got a phone call from a friend. It was a guy, it sounded intimate.

Something about the call told me he is not quite her boyfriend, but he’s been inside her... at least once (probably when he said “when can I fuck you again” ).

“Do you have coke?” - she suddenly enquired.

But she sounded disappointed when she heard the response.

Now for those who lived the sheltered life as I did, coke here is referring to a certain recreational product that is well addictive. It starts with C and rhymes with ‘ocaine’.

But I thought the damsel was simply in distress due to a lack of hydration and thirst, and suddenly remembered the minibar in my room was full of Cola.

So, with bravado, I told her: “I have PLENTY of coke”.

The key was that I said it with 110% conviction. A self fulfilling prophecy.

protein powder


Upon hearing those words, her eyes lit UP as she giggled and quickly hung up the phone.

She started nibbling on my cheek and lips. I never knew a girl could be so impressed by a fridge of coke...

We bursted into the hotel room door and she pushed me onto the soft king sized bed.

She proceeded to (violently) pull off my jeans down to my ankles, and greedily wrapped her lips around poor Hugzy.

I felt used… like a piece of meat.

Note for beginners: no matter what you promise them - coke, ramen, pumpkin soup - 99% of the time they forget once they walk inside the door. 1% are actually hungry/really thirsty.

I stared at the digital clock above me... it read 5.37am. It was a trick I used to last longer in bed, by focusing on a distant object on the wall.

What proceeded next was THE most amazing gobby of my life (still to this day). My eyes rolled to the BACK of my head as her hand and tongue manuvoured rhymatically over my veiny shaft (ew).

She was rough, but nothing was out of bounds.

I closed my eyes tightly due to the intensity of her technique… and after what seemed like an eternity of pleasure, unloaded every last drop into her mouth (a good 8 roper).

She continued to flap her tongue softly against the tip of my sword… it was unrelenting.

paralysing paradise

Paralysing paradise… xOo ← emoji for the gif above

As I opened my eyes wearily, I saw the clock on the wall again… just ticking over to 5:38am.

I miss those days.

Ps. Due to the lack of writing skills, the HK tour report has spilled over to 4 parts. Please be tuned for the bonus chapter next week. Thanks for your readership!